Purple

Let me tell you something.

There’s something about me, I don’t know what exactly, but I’ve always been met with you’re too much. No one could ever really hold me fully. Not my true energy, not my essence. So I hid it, bit by bit, since my early teens.

I hid chunks of myself as I moved through life because the resistance got bigger, threatening to take away everything I ever wanted. Connection. Friends. A partner. A dream career. It felt like being myself would cost me the life I always imagined. So I hid my fire, flame by flame. My knowing, thought by thought. My depth, my intuition, decision by decision.

Until there was nothing left of me but a shell in pretty clothes, in an aesthetic house with a cat and a nice man.

Then I realised: my fire was meant to be intense.

My essence was supposed to be intoxicating.

My knowing deserved to be worn proudly.

My depth had to be spoken.

My intuition was meant to lead.

So I retraced my steps and collected every lost part of me.

Layers of the shell fell away, but that didn’t scare me.

The road was long, dark and lonely, guided only by the knowing I came into this world with. An echo at first, getting louder and louder as I walked.

I never really knew where I was in my journey. My reality was changing slowly, becoming more colourful, but part of me still felt in the dark. People went from resisting and mocking me to going quiet, nodding, watching.

And I realised what I’d been craving:

A true level of being me.

Grounded presence

Emotional stillness.

Eye contact that didn’t collapse me.

A feeling of being stood next to, not above or below.

A wavelength where my body opens instead of contracts.

The I’m not shrinking, I’m expanding feeling.

I’d felt sparks of it within myself, but never in true grace,

until I met my dress rehearsal.

He wasn’t the focus.

I was.

He was just the first mirror strong enough not to break.

The training ground.

A resonance checkpoint.

I wasn’t learning whether I’m desired.

I was learning what it feels like to stand in my power and let someone feel it without disappearing.

And it felt magical.

The resonance I recognised.

The calibration in real time.

The self-trust anchoring in my body.

My new nervous system.

The first reflection of my evolution, disguised as two people dropping into presence at the same exact millisecond.

A door to a new world.

A new reality.

Where stillness, connection, resonance become the atmosphere.

He held what every soul before him couldn’t.

And if he ever questions who he is,

If he ever doubts his power,

I hope he finds this story,

to remember he was the first one who stood still in a moving crowd,

holding a fire others ran from,

and he didn’t collapse beneath it

because that same flame is burning in him too.